Oman wellness: Stay connected with your teen

Ask any parent with a teenager about the challenges of being in their good books and you will get many a sigh. The teen years are not easy on anyone, from the poor teen, to the parents, teachers, and even siblings. There are stories galore of how this stage is so critical and sensitive that most parents walk through eggshells during this phase. The most important thing during this time is to be connected with your teen. Establishing a positive connection ensures that you have a two-way line for communication.
• Love and accept your child: Don’t be overtly critical of everything he says or does. So, you don’t like his T-shirt or his taste in music, learn to keep your opinion to yourself. He is learning to express his personality.
• Meet their emotional needs: Be emotionally available, be receptive. Do not judge. This is a stage where they need you more than ever and at the same time they want to be independent. It’s baffling for them too.
• Don’t let them push you away: You may not agree with her on anything but keep disapproval at a minimum. Don’t nag, it will only make them rebel more. Listen, empathise, and keep advice at a minimum.
• Know what makes their soul sing: Understand their interests and support them. Your son may be a budding artist and you may have no clue about art. So make an effort to find out more about what he does and what inspires him.
• Welcome their friends: This is an age when friends matter more than parents. So make an effort to have them home to spend a day with your daughter or son and take them ice-skating or for a movie. Let them understand that you know and like their friends.
• Don’t take it in: Some times harsh words are exchanged and you may be shocked at the verbal lashing you receive from your child. Don’t take it personally. Just let it go and don’t let it affect you.
• Spend quality time with them: This doesn’t include the time you are walking the dog or doing some chore at home. This means making time to do something you both enjoy. It could be a lunch at your favourite place or watching a football game together or just a walk on Qurum beach. This would be the best time to get them talking and understand what’s going on in their lives.
• Follow the 5:1 rule: Try to have at least 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction at home. And whatever differences you have, don’t sleep on it. Clear up the day’s messes before you hit the bed.
• Reconnect, reconnect, reconnect: They may shun your advances and scorn your ideas but keep trying to reconnect with your difficult teen. It may seem like they don’t want you, but they do.
You are their emotional and moral compass during this bewildering phase so staying connected is imperative. Give them what they need at home and they won’t go outside looking for it.
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